Torn
You know that saying:
"My heart skips a beat every time I’m with you or hear you."
Well, it’s true for how I feel about you.
My heart is racing a million miles per hour.
I’m mad, crazy in love with you.
I’ve always been, throughout all of these years.
You, forever, I want to devour.
I’ve never stopped loving you.
Even when we parted... I kept a part of you every step I took,
Never once forgetting about you.
You were and are a permanent figment in my heart
Even though I knew things could never work.
I did try to forget you
But somehow you kept appearing in my thoughts, in my dreams.
For you I use to shred streams
Now I shred streams for the man I married in between.
I feel like such a bad person and
I know I am- for still having the feelings I do for you
And not for the man I married.
A part of my heart you’ve always carried.
You’ve never given it back to me
So how could I ever give my heart fully to him,
When I don’t have it to give...
The life I live right now is not how I pictured I’d live.
I never pictured I’d marry a man who is so awesome
And who loves me so dear.
A man who I didn’t feel the same way for, not even close nor near.
I do love him, I’m just not "In Love" anymore.
It went away and I don’t know how to get it back.
A lot of it has to do with the romance & the passion that we lack
With you we never lost that- we always had passion,
We always had conversation & things in common to talk about.
He & I are complete opposites...
That was my initial doubt when I first married him.
So, why did I marry a guy that I had doubts about?
Ahhhh, I want to shout!!
I hate feeling this way, I hate living a lie, I am a good person,
I just don’t know how to let him go.
I don’t want to hurt him.
He loves me so much, God please help me through this.
To fall back in love with that man I married
Would be so great, God I wish...
Please help me get over my first love
And move on to what’s been right in front of me all along.
The man I married- the one I’m doing wrong.
