Forever
The uncertainty of what lies ahead eats away at me,
deeper than imaginable.
More so than the darkness inside,
slowly deteriorating my spirit.
The fear creeps farther in with each passing day.
It comes with the knowing of the task at hand
and the understanding of the courage it will require.
Courage that I do not possess.
Courage that I believe existed at one time,
but faded long ago, as I fear my dwindling spirit will as well,
all too soon.
The unimaginable pain is causing this fear.
Pain so easily avoided.
Pain, so needlessly thrusted into me by those my deteriorating spirit
once trusted.
What is trust?
Is it love for another?
Or perhaps it's the belief that the love is returned?
If this is so, there are few that I love anymore.
The few, those precious few, I find hard to love
for fear that the same betrayal will be just as easily handed out
as it was for the others to give.
This is what is causing the darkness to slowly eat me away.
The irony: all I have left to love is the very darkness
that is slowly but surely killing me.
