The Past Year
It's been a year since we've been apart,
And still no one has won my heart.
Nobody has won my heart the way you had.
For the past year my days are cold and sad.
The past year I keep thinking about you,
Thinking what to say and what to do.
For the past year you've been on my mind,
And I've tried so hard to move on and just leave you behind,
Sometimes I ask myself why I feel this way,
And even I don't know what to say.
Every time I try to move on,
It seems like it takes forever, sometimes too long.
Sometimes, I ask myself if we should be together, if I made a mistake,
All this time was I being a fake,
A fake about how I feel
About a truth that will never heal.
Sometimes I wonder should we be together,
Or how it is now, being without each other.
It's been a year and you're still the one I'm missing and thinking of.
Maybe it's because you were my first love,
Or maybe because I always knew
I should have tried to work things out before I left you.
What I'm trying to say is, breaking up with you is one thing I regret,
And it's just so hard to try to forget.
But then again, breaking up with you was a good thing to do,
Because I was soon to move away.
I just didn't know it would turn out this way.
The pain and heartache still hurts to this day,
So now I'm confused about what to do.
I don't know if I want to move on, or be with you.
It's just that you changed so much the past year,
And that, to me, is my biggest fear,
That if we got back together your changes would affect the way I feel,
And I'm scared that I would have to add more time to heal.
So, I have to ask myself again, what do I want for me,
But deep down inside, it's a true unsolve mystery.
Dedicated to: My first love J.N.