Eventually
Anyone can lie to themselves,
they can pretend everything is fine,
smile and laugh through the tears, but eventually...
it all catches up to you.
I tried to convince myself I'm ok
with you not being here, but it's all a lie,
I still imagine what it would be like
to see you again, (I wonder what you'd do and say),
and I still believe
you will come walking through the door.
When I see others together, I long for you.
I think it's because I know if you were still here,
we would be that couple no one wants to see broken up.
I see so many people
forced together for immature reasons,
and it makes me sick.
It makes me wonder how anyone can be so fake
and oblivious to themselves.
Believe me, I'm not proud you consume my thoughts,
but I think it's out of unsettlement.
We had no good-bye, no final farewell,
and we denied the feelings we possesed,
for reasons still unknown to me.
When you find someone
you can picture being in your life forever at age 12,
then lose it...
It's difficult to find someone
who makes you feel that same way
without being one of those people who make me sick.
I didn't expect to feel this way,
and I didn't ask for these feelings.
It makes me uneasy,
because we never had an "offical relationship,"
but when I try to let go,
I end up right where I started,
sitting at night, writing my thoughts to stay sane,
and true to the person time has shaped me into.
Anyone can lie to themselves.
They can pretend everything is ok,
smile and laugh through the tears...
but eventually it all catches up to you...
