CATHARSIS
I make a journey here today
To a time I knew, not too long ago
When I was green and foolish, not who I am
And you were not, God knows what.
I don't know when it was that I started falling
Or what it was that drew me near
The spell we wove, that should have been just fantasy
Outlived itself, and found root in reality.
Before I knew it, you were filling my dreams
And intruding into my waking hours
Who is this person who lit these flames of passion
Who my soul reaches out to and speaks with so freely?
Who is this man who made me feel so feminine
So soft and vulnerable...and scared.
For I was falling in love, and impossibly in love,
For I was not her...and you, were you him?
Have you truly understood my discomfort
At loving, being loved as someone else?
An unexpected irony, to find myself entrapped
In a web I unthinkingly spun.
Yet I never felt so free
Nor bonded with a closer soul.
I was not, yet every bit myself with you
Yes, more than words, I spoke to you.
I was struggling against my feelings
Willing them to stop, but couldn't.
I wanted to tell you the truth about me
But was afraid to face your judgment
And the story lived on, farther than I wanted it to
Till I felt you draw away
Grow distant and cold
You never left, but in my heart, I know you did.
I was too proud to give chase
And under the circumstances, what was the use?
I was not who I said I was
And so I fled, and in my haste, left my soul with you.
Alas, this silver thread that links me to you
Will it forever be my bane?
An inexplicable bond spanning oceans and time
I have run away only to search for you.
I hoped for you in every man I met
Yet none were quite like you
I used to think you've spoiled me for the rest
I hope this isn't true.
This journey has to serve its purpose
So let me accomplish the task.
I was a free woman, make no mistake, when I met you
But in a different place and time
My name was not the one you knew
My story was just not mine.
I now stand at a crossroad in my life
The very one I had hoped to share with you
But I can't go any further, until I purge myself of your memory
Until you release my soul.
But more than that, my heart needs to know
Are you still there for me, do you still care
Is there a hope for us
Is it me you miss...
I need to know this truth
Before I finally let go,
I miss you more than you know
And if I told you the truth
Would you love me just the same?
Do you need to know
That if you told me everything,
That I've loved you,
And I love you,
Just the same.
