HOW WE USED TO BE
Just here contemplating on you
All the years and issues we've been through.
To you it all may seems so non-chalant,
as if nothing ever mattered...
Yet that's an attitude that I myself I can't feel.
I am unable to bring myself to feel the way you do and express the same.
Because it does hurt to have lost someone so important to me.
Yes, I may have brought it upon to this ending,
But truly whether you believe me or not...
My intention was not to do so or hurt you.
Yet with all the hurt and anger that at that moment I felt,
I let the best of me get in the way.
How can you just ask me to block out any given emotion felt?
It's like asking for the sun to never brighten up our days,
I didn't and couldn't feel right with you this time...
Making love to you, just being in your presence hurt me...
Because I knew how much you love your children and her... your wife.
All I could ever be to you is simply... A way to escape
an every day reality.
I never wanted to cause you pain... or wait, I know you are
without emotins... unable to feel pain caused by me...
So I'll rephrase that... I never meant to start any drama in
your "HAPPY HOME."
Your calls to me were so different from when I came to see you.
I really thought 10 years of "FRIENDSHIP" could surpass anything.
How wrong and a fool I've been.
It is over... See, I want a Man only for me... Only for me to please,
not needing to go elsewhere for his needs...
You said "I could never love you."
You on that were always wrong... See I did once.
But not any more, I just got tired of waiting for you to see
what I for us from the start had in store.