Today
Since the day I met you, it seems like
The 11th of every month has been significant.
Today is June 11th, and exactly four months ago,
You and me shared our first kiss.
It wasn't just any kiss to me.
It wasn't the best one, or the most special one.
But it certainly was the most magical one.
It was the kind where you knew it was going to happen,
And yet you had no idea that it was coming.
The moment our lips touched, I literally saw fireworks.
Exactly three months ago, we were at a friend's house.
And before you left, I walked you out.
In the driveway, you held me, looked into my eyes,
And kissed me like never before.
It wasn't magical; our first kiss was.
But this kiss, this kiss made me feel so wanted,
And for the first time, I didn't want to let you go.
Exactly two months ago, we ended what we had.
For me, it was because it didn't work out.
For you, it was because you wanted her.
Of course, I was devastated and needless to say,
Underneath what I appeared to be, I was deeply hurt.
But, I am considered lucky and fortunate,
Because as hard as I fell for you,
I am proud to say I never got to love you.
So instead of having a broken heart,
My heart was slightly cracked.
I thought time would make the pain go away,
And thinking I was over you, exactly one month ago
I started missing you all over again.
Until now, I still don't know what triggered it
Or caused me to think about the past.
Wait a second…I know…it was your hugs.
They weren't the normal every day hugs,
Some of them made me feel something.
They made me feel wanted and needed again.
Or, maybe it was just my imagination.
So here we are, you and me, together at last,
Going out as "friends" today.
But come to think of it, are we really friends?
How could I possibly allow myself to be friends
With someone I like more than a friend
And hate more than an enemy?
Why did I act as though I was fine
When I should have yelled at you
and made you feel slightly as bad as I've been feeling since…
Well, April 11th, the day we broke up?
And what about all those days after that?
Sometimes, I think I have become a bitter person
Simply because of your existence
In my already-shattered life.
Do you ever feel any pain when you look at me?
Have you ever regretted letting me go?
Have you ever wished I were in your arms, by your side,
And being the only person willing to be at the bottom of your list?
But none of that matters now because after today,
I realized you are completely over me.