The One That I Can't Have
How could I have ever believed
that what you say you feel for me is true.
How could I be so stupid
to care for you the way that I do.
You say I am free
to go whenever I want to leave,
so, why did you try so hard
to make my heart believe?
You take my hand and hold me so close
that I never want you to go
but then you loosen your grip
and remind my heart that you cannot love me so.
You're constantly playing hurtful games
with my feelings, heart and mind
by telling me that one day it may happen,
just give it a little time.
Does the tearing of my broken heart
put a smile upon your face?
Because you know when I close my eyes
your smile I can't erase.
I've tried to stop thinking of you
and push you out of my head
but you return to me with a surprise, "hello"
and I fall for you instead.
Why do you hold on to me
when you know that 'we' can't be?
Why can't you just turn away
and tell me that you don't love me?
I know I'm playing the fool
for sticking around to wait for you
but I just can't help but wonder
if you feel the way I do.
Do you think I'll be around
and wait for you forever
until the day you decide
that we can be together?
I don't know how much longer
these feelings for you will last
but from the aching in my heart,
I hope it changes fast.
I want you so much more
than words could ever say
but I try to hide what I feel inside,
hoping you'll go away.
I wish I would never have kissed your lips
on that very first night
because, then, I wouldn't reminisce
about the way you held me tight.
I wish I had never looked into your eyes
and seen the wonderful you
because now I look but cannot touch
and there's nothing I can do.
The times I see you riding by
with your girlfriend in the car
I can't believe I'm still around
when I know where it is you are.
You're not with me, you still love her
and nothing's going to change.
I guess I'm just going to be the losing one
who's left standing in the rain.
I know I can't complain
because I'm letting it go on.
You're just doing what any guy would do
and having a little fun.
Why not have me on the side
when I'm willing to keep things low.
You can call me up on a late night creep
and no one will ever know.
I guess that's the way you've wanted it all
when we started everything,
just a fling on the side that makes you laugh,
but doesn't require anything.
If only someone would tell me the things
I'm supposed to do
but no one even knows of us,
so there's no one I can turn to.
I should turn around and walk away
from all this crazy mess
and leave you alone to be with your girl
and stop settling for less.
I'm starting to clearly understand
the intentions behind your smile.
You just want to keep me around to play
with my heart for awhile.
Maybe this whole thing is a game to you
that you enjoy to play
but I have to protect my heart,
and if you don't care then... please just go away.
