Find Myself
What's happing here? I find myself thinking.
Am I floating, or am I sinking?
Sometimes a smile, sometimes a frown.
My feelings for him flip upside down.
Every now and then I get a big smile,
then sticking with him seems all worth while.
But there are those times when he makes me feel
like I shouldn't be there, but it's no big deal.
I know somewhere deep down inside
he cares about me, so, I tell my pride.
With a tear in my eye, I sit back and stare,
As he calmly survives without a worry or care
If I'm there, I'm there.
If I'm not, I'm not.
It doesn't really matter, and that hurts a lot.
Sometimes I wonder what I could do,
to make him hold me and say, "I love you."
No matter how hard I struggle, still I am haunted
by needing to be needed, or wanting to be wanted.
So I'll just keep on going, day by day
Trying to find the courage to say
"I am somebody, I finally realized."
The answer seems so far, when it was right in front of my eyes.
You know, you're wrong I can make do.
Without your occasional "hellos" I don't need you.
So when you know what we had was great,
you can come back to me, but I'm not gonna wait.
I refuse to be pushed around anymore,
I'm not a piece of property or anybodies whore.
I know I'll tell you someday, somehow.
How can I stand without a doubt
and tell you "I love you more than life itself,
but I'm leaving you now to find myself."