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cry for help
by Jmommy

I was 16 and pregnant by a guy I had only known for 3 weeks. He was the first guy I had ever been with. The first time I had ever done anything, I got pregnant. My boyfriend was embarrassed and wouldn't speak to me. I had an abortion to try to fix things, but felt worse inside and from then on my grades failed in school and I became very suicidal and rebellious- 3 attempts to kill myself and 4 runaway charges.

Before I had ever met my boyfriend, back when my family was a family, we did things together before my parents starting fighting. I was a happy-go-lucky person and an A-B student. We had "family" nights, then my parents wanted to separate and I would hide out in my room. My grades dropped and I was just angry all the time.

Well, I knew I was depressed but I didn't care about myself. I wouldn't eat and I didn't feel like I deserved to live. After the 2nd attempt to kill myself, my mom forced me into an institute where at 16, I weighed 86 lbs.

At the institute, there was a man who worked there who wouldn't let me leave the table until all my food was gone. He would trick me into eating by talking about my problems and I would gradually eat as I talked with him.

My turning point was when my older brother, (my best friend) told me I wasn't the sister he knew anymore. I wasn't happy and I couldn't talk to him, so he told me that until I could get my act together I wasn't allowed to call him for any reason. The LovePoetry poem Nobody Knows by Cindy Michelle Wood really helped.

Well, today I am 19. I made a point to do better, get a job and try in school. After a year of struggle I couldn't do it. I started fighting with my family again and got kicked out at 18. I went with a guy and got pregnant. I kept this baby, dropped out of school, got a job, then another and left the baby’s father. He was no good!!

Although I am currently not working- not by choice, to improve my happiness I am getting my GED, looking for a job and raising a beautiful baby boy who will turn 1 year old in two months.

For others- life is what you make it. I went through hell and back as a young child, then as a teen I learned about life the hard way. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Things will get better if you have it in your heart.

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