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It Hurts So Much to Let Go....
by Stacey Marie

Our relationship was a very fun–loving one. We always had such a good time by each other’s side. He always put a smile on my face and made me feel complete! He brought such happiness to my life, I couldn’t ask for anything more.

During the time we were together, I loved what I got to know of him. We confided in each other and it made our relationship so very special. My family thought he was all wrong for me due to certain situation that arose. I ignored them though, because all I wanted to do was to be with him. I didn’t care what they thought. I knew the person he was and that's what mattered most to me.

Things in our relationship suddenly took a turn when he told me that he was moving to Florida for good. He had been planning this before I even came into his life and he just couldn’t bring himself to tell me. He talked about changing his plans and staying up here with me but he soon realized that this was something he had to do, it was something he dreamed of for so long, and it was something that was going to make him truly happy. It caused me so much heartache to think of him moving thousands of miles away from me, but I had to learn to accept it.

The day he left, I never received a phone call or even got the chance to see him. He made no attempt to even say goodbye to me... he just left. A few days after he left, he called and asked me to forgive him for not saying goodbye. He said it was just too hard for him to do. He said, “Goodbyes are for people who are never going to see each other again.”

We used to talk on the phone every day, sometimes 4 or 5 times a day. Then it subsided to once or twice a week. We hardly keep in touch anymore. I haven’t heard from him in over a month and it kills me. When I dial his cell number now, the only voice I get is the operator's voice, telling me, “The number is no longer in service.” I’ve tried e-mailing him, but he has yet to respond. I’ve stopped all together trying to get in touch with him because it’s a waste of my time. If he truly wanted to get in touch with me, he very well could.

It really hurts to finally realize that I have to let him go. I miss him more than ever. I've had to put those feelings I have for him aside because I know we'll never be together. He is happy with his life down there and that is most important to me. It’s time for me to move on with my life even though the pain is still there. I can’t say that we have lost touch forever, all I can do is take things as they come, day-by-day. The poem that helped me so much through this was Thinking Of You by Tessa Chan-A-Shing. It made me realize that no one can take away the memories and the place he holds in my heart.

Everything happens for a reason in this crazy world, whether it brings you smiles or tears! Cherish every moment you have with someone who means the world to you because you never know when they will disappear out of your life. You make your own happiness in this world... don't ever stand in the way of someone else's.

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