It wasn't really a "relationship". I met him at the business he owned, (a comic shop). I was just a customer to him and he was just the owner of the shop to me. He was attached at the time anyway, and so was I. Then, both of our relationships fell through, (not because of one another). I spent more time there because he needed someone to help him out every now and then, so we became closer. He didn't want a serious relationship and neither did I, so we were just friends. We went out and did things together and had many deep conversations. I came to really like the person he is. Things slowly started becoming more serious... we talked more often and spent more time together- we were beginning to act like a couple. He was just too good to be true I guess.
He liked this girl he'd known for a couple of years, and she apparently liked him too. After telling me he didn't want a serious relationship, he tossed out our "fun" relationship for a more serious one. He told me he was scared of things between us because they were so intense, so quick. I found out from friends that he said I reminded him of his ex when they first met, (he was really in love with his ex, so I wasn't sure if I should feel complimented or insulted).
I had a lot more time on my hands after the "break up", so I spent a lot of time on the internet- mostly looking at poems. I write poetry a lot and he always enjoyed the things I wrote. He said I had a way with words. So, in memory of him I guess, I plunged myself into reading and writing poetry. I was already a Lovepoetry.com addict, so I spent most of my time here, reading poetry and writing my own. There were many, many poems I felt I could relate to. The one poem that helped me so much though, was A Girl Who Loves You
by Me Myself And I). It said exactly what I was feeling. I even emailed this poem to him along with quite a few of my own things I'd written for or about him.
We still talk and everything; we're still "friends", but he looks at me like he's afraid I'm going to just break down and cry, (which I've done several times, but never in public). The relationship he left me for has already ended and he talks like he made a mistake by letting me go in the first place, but I'm afraid of that. I still care so much for him, but I'm so afraid of getting hurt again. Part of me is sad for him that he seems so confused, part of me is angry at him that he couldn't see how good I was for him in the beginning and that he walked away without ever letting me say how I felt. He just said it was done and walked away, (although he tried to console me by giving me a small "farewell hug").
My advice to anyone is be careful. Guard your heart carefully because it breaks easily and if you trust just anyone with it- it WILL get broken eventually. Write, is my other word of advice. Write down everything you are feeling or think you feel or felt in the past. It's great for sentimental value, but it develops good writing skills (which is a plus in the job market) and it helps develop creativeness. Write about EVERYTHING... you never know... you may be a poet and don't even know it!