The relationship I had was a very important friendship. The only reason we weren't together is because we lived too far away from each other, but we were still close. I feel as I have never met anyone like Matt before. We just got along so well, it's unexplainable. We had so much in common and our sense of humors just went together so well and it was as if it was just between us two, 'cause no one else got it. We could be serious and we could just be little kids, but no matter what we still understood each other. We talked about everything and anything and it didn't even really matter what we talked about. It could have been nothing, but all those nothings meant a whole lot of something to me. It was just unbelievable.
When we first met, I had lied about who I was, but it wasn't a really big deal when he found out the truth, (I told him). He just didn't ever talk to me again which I guess I could understand because he probably felt like he didn't know who I was and didn't know what to believe. It's been over a year now and since that day in November of last year, I haven't heard anything out of him. I've tried everything I can to get his forgiveness but he just won't give it. I thought that if he really loved me as much as he said, he should have forgiven me. I mean, doesn't everyone deserve a second chance? No matter what I did or said, he never responded. I don't know whether it really hurt him that badly or if what he was telling me from the beginning was all lies and he really doesn't care. I know that's not him though, 'cause we had a relationship like no other.
I was hurt for a long time, I was so shocked because I know we're meant to be. I've tried dating other people but I can't 'cause I feel like it's wrong. I know I'm supposed to be with him and I've never felt this way before. I'm not going to give up, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get him back. I don't feel like this for nothing. I'm still hurting, but all I can do is go day by day.
I wanted to seek his forgiveness because I know my lying was wrong and I know my words aren't good enough for him anymore 'cause that's what I gave him last time and I know he feels like he can't trust me anymore. I read LIFETIMES WASTED
by Avery Robertson and it really made me realize a lot of things and it explains the way I feel.
I don't blame myself anymore for what happened. Yeah, I know I did wrong but everyone deserves a second chance and I guess he doesn't love me enough to give it to me. I'm still hoping that someday he'll come around. I know he will... I can just feel it.
If you know you're with the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with, don't give up. It might just take the other person a little longer to realize it. It could be worth a lifetime with the one you love.