I only guess I miss you.
I only guess you were here 
before you left me alone.
I only guess because I used to know- 
but I don't, really, anymore.
I don't know if I had a heart to hurt, 
or if it was only loaned.

I wonder if I cried as hard as I do every night
on that one night when it hit me 
and I knew you would never hold me again.
When it occurred to my thinking
I would never really kiss you,
That all those things I dreamed 
would be nevermore- we were 'friends'.

I haven't a clue if I ever truly felt like I loved you.
Maybe there were a few weeks when my heart 
knew for sure about itself,
And I was absolutely positive  
what we had was the real thing.
But I can only guess if that ever happened 
and if you asked me I couldn't tell.

Every tear that I let fall down my cheek didn't come from my eyes-
they were pouring out every single memory 
I wanted to keep deep in my heart.
So even now, the things I can't remember, 
in my mind I know should be there.
Sometimes I can't remember where the thoughts 
went because I know what they were there for.

So, you ask if that pain you impressed upon me still hurts. 
You wonder if I could ever forgive you,
because finally, you're sorry you made me sad;
All I can tell you is I guess I could find it 
somewhere inside to trust again-
But maybe I've forgotten completely how love should be,
just like I thought you had.

I only guess I'm crying again.