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The Monster Within
by Robert James Williamson

I lay in my bed alone and forlorn
She is sleeping upstairs, she has not yet gone
My mind runs around, puts blame on her
Puts blame on her friends, how could they dare

It must be a lover, secret calls in the night
Show up on the phone log and fill me with fright
It can't be me, someone?s taken her away
There must be a lover, a roll in the hay

At night I pace, I don?t sleep with the thought
I plan and I scheme, ?I must get them caught?
Each thing I do just adds to the mess
Lack of trust, lack of love and far too much stress

I slowly consider what has gone on
A lack of talking, a lack of fun
Neglecting her soul, little love and care
No showing of feeling and never been there

Throughout our marriage I worked very hard
To provide and supply a list on a card
I?ve lost sight of the love and the care that was needed
The most important things to her soul have receded

I command and direct, a true male I believed
In charge and dominant, she can't take her leave
I don?t listen, I don?t talk, no empathy have I
To hear her cries that reach for the sky

I didn?t listen when I had the chance
So phone calls replaced me, without romance
Friends that listened when she needed to chat
About problems and issues and things like that

There is no other, no one else to blame
For the state of her soul, I hold my head in shame
I have neglected her soul, her spirit, her light
I have put her in a place, as black as night

There is no man, no other, no 'him'
Just me and my horrible monster within
It has been there for ages, undetected by me
But seen by my true love who wants to be free

How do I change, how do I put it right"?
To rekindle our love that now sleeps like the night
How do I nurture it and let it regrow?
How do I wake it, and make it glow'?

Lay out my soul and kneel at her feet
Beg for forgiveness for the way I treat
Unfairly, coldly and very unjust
With the odd bit of kindness and a bit of lust

Take away selfishness, take away pride
Show my love to my beautiful bride
Reach out to her spirit and embrace her within
With care and tenderness, compassion without sin

Hold her dear, hold her close and tight
Remove the fears that haunt her night
Give her space, give her confidence and give her room
To allow our love to regrow and bloom

Be thankful to God that she has not yet gone
Be thankful to her,  she?s the only one
I love and adore her to the end of my time
This monster must go,  if she?s to remain mine
        
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Poem ID: 89196   Poem Posted: 12/29/2016
Viewed: 596  Voted On: 0  E-mailed: 0  Commented On: 0
 
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Copyright , 29 Dec 2016, Robert James Williamson  all rights reserved by the author.
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