by Christine Teresa Benitez
I am angry..
You made me believe
you were the cure for my every kind of pain,
I had you wrapped around me
while I let you take control of my veins.
At this point in time
I didn't know who or what you turned me into,
But you made it impossible
to get through days without you.
You had control of my body now,
and if I didn't choose you,
you made me feel so sick
to where I was helpless not knowing what to do.
By now I started doing the things
I swore I would never do,
lying and stealing from the people
who didn't mean a thing to you.
You had me convinced that throughout my life
you were determined to stay,
that I did not have the option
of turning and walking away.
Before I knew it, everyone I loved saw a side of me
that was hurting them inside, and
every time they questioned,
I did what you taught me to do... Lie.
I wanted to let you go
and get you out of my way,
so scared to tell someone
imagining what they would say.
Don't want to be judged,
it was a decision I would have to make,
but I've wasted so much time,
it was a little too late.
Being put in jail
was something I knew it was going to come down to,
but it made me free of relief
knowing that I could not get to you.
It was a struggle,
but a worth while fight
because now I am in control
and you are out of my life.
Being sober turned me into the person
I've always wanted to be,
and that was the one day
you were praying I would never see.
Now I am doing the good things
I never imagined myself to do,
and proudly I can say...
I am doing them without you