Am I
AM I DEAD OR ALIVE? IT'S HARD TO DECIDE.
I FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIDER LOOKING IN ON MY LIFE.
WATCHING IT GO BY ME AND SO FAST IT GOES.
IT FEELS LIKE I’M DROWNING IN MY LIFE
STRUGGLING TO KEEP MY HEAD ABOVE THE WATER,
BUT ALWAYS GETTING PUSHED DOWN BY SOMETHING UNKNOWN AND UNSEEN.
MY DEPRESSION IS SO THICK IT CHOKES ME AT TIMES,
I FEEL LIKE JUST ENDING IT ALL
JUST LETTING THE UNKNOWN FORCE DROWN ME IN MY SEA OF DEPRESSION.
YET, STILL I FIGHT FOR THE CHANCE TO BREATH,
NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO BUT BECAUSE I FEEL THE NEED TO GO ON.
SOMETIMES I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING WORTH LIVING FOR
AND I SLIP FARTHER AWAY FROM EVERYTHING
PUSHING AWAY EVEN THOSE WHO I KNOW LOVE ME.
NOT KNOWING WHY I PICK UP THE KNIFE
AND PUT IT TO MY WRIST CONTEMPLATING MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE.
I TRY TO FIND SOMETHING, ANYTHING WORTH LIVING FOR IN MY LIFE.
THERE ARE PLENTY- BUT MY TEARS OF DEPRESSION BLIND ME.
I SIT AND WONDER, WHERE'S MY PLACE? WHY AM I HERE?
THE ONLY ANSWER I’VE FOUND IS THAT I’M JUST TAKING UP SPACE
AND OCCASIONALY JUST GETTING IN THE WAY,
BUT I AM ALWAYS SCREWING THINGS UP.
I OCCASIONALLY SEE THINGS WORTH LIVING FOR
...BUT THEY NEVER COME MY WAY.
