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Moving and Losing
by Laurablankblank
Looking out my window,
Seeing the trees blow softly.
I then look around my room,
It's completely empty.
No more pictures on the walls,
No more poems,
No more bulletin boards.
I walk to the middle of my room,
I sit.

I wonder what I would be like,
If I could just stay.
I wouldn't feel the pain,
That is now tearing at me inside.
I think back to the second grade,
When I came here,
And how it all began.
Then I think about today,
The summer before ninth grade.
What wonderful times I've had,
What caring wonderful friends I have.

This day is truly sad.
Tonight my closest friends come over,
We all sit and talk.
We talk about everything,
And how many fun times we've had.
Then there are those mysterious silences,
That shatter the air.
I can almost tell what they are all thinking,
And I'm sure they know what I am thinking.
I sit back,

I feel the cold, painful tears roll down my cheeks.
Why is this happening to me?
I think, deeply.
Out of the corner of my eye,
I see him.
There he is- sitting.
Next to me he sits,
Embracing me with his arm.
I stare for a long time,
Wondering, Thinking, Wishing.
I've wished so hard,
On oh so many stars,
I wished I could just stay,

Please, I beg, that's all I ask.
I could be with all my friends,
Make so many more memories.
We could talk each other through our problems,
Help each other pick out homecoming dresses.
Complain about how cheap our first date was,
Re-live our first kisses (good or bad)
Compliment each other on our beautiful prom dresses.
Cry at ou graduation,
Seeing each other in cap and gown.

I think about all my friends,
Then I look at him.
He looks at me.
He tells me he loves me.
The tears come stronger now.
I say, "I love you, too"
And I do, I truly love him.
And leaving him was the hardest.

His mom pulls up,
He walks out.
He stops and turns around to look at me.
His eyes are full of tears, and his heart full of love.
They are falling from him face.
I run to him,
Hold him.
I hold him for as long as I can, one last time.
We then say our final Good-Bye,
He is gone...

I am sobbing uncontrollably.
I turn around, and there is one of my friends,
She wraps her arms around me, in a loving hug.
She is crying too,
She whispers softly, "I know it hurts, Laura, I know."
I say Good-Bye to her, and the rest of my friends.
I cry myself to sleep that night,
In my empty room, on my sleeping bag.

It is now 2 weeks later.
I sit in my new room,
Thousands of miles away from my home,
Writing this poem.
I long to go back,
The pain is tearing me apart,
I can't handle it anymore.
I especially miss him,
And his warm, loving smile,
His laughter,
His face,
His personality,
Him.

I lay here,
Writing, Thinking, Wishing.
The tears fall once again,
Softly onto my pillow.
I am lost,
Confused.
I act happy on the outside,
But when I am alone, All of my feelings come out.
I don't want to hurt anymore,
Please just come back to me,
I miss you, all.
Especially, YOU.

I write, to keep myself sane.
When will the day come 
when I see them again??

Copyright , 7/26/01,  all rights reserved by the author.
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