The Man I Could No Longer Love
by i wish i could return his love
Everything was fine when we were friends; we loved each other's company. We did everything together and we knew each other’s dirtiest little secrets. Less than six months after we met, we started having feelings for each other. At the time, I was very young and he was three years older than me. I fell in love with him and he loved me too.
For the first three years of our relationship, we couldn't get enough of each other. We would stay on the phone until sunrise and we still did everything together. He was always so romantic and sweet; he'd get me flowers frequently and he picked me up from school every day.
In our second year together, he gave me a promise ring. Then I moved to a different state. That is when things started going downhill. We didn't spend as much time on the phone anymore, but he still came visit me from time to time. He started complaining about how much I was neglecting him. My excuse was always, “Baby, I'm in school, I work and I’m pursuing my modeling dream. I'm sorry but I'm doing this for us.” I moved to a different state, this time even further away from where I was before. That killed him, and I was hurt too. As time went on thought, I started looking at other people. I didn't call him very often, if at all. At first it went on for days, then weeks. One time I did not return his calls for two months.
He loved me so much I was almost afraid not to love him. I was his everything and that made me feel good. I felt that he loved me and needed me, so I mustn’t go anymore. As each month or year went by, I watched the love that I once felt for him go away. I was devastated because I couldn't love the one person that was true to his love for me. He’s been there for me countless times. It's been six years now and I don't feel anything anymore. All I feel is kindness and pity ‘cause I don't wanna’ break his heart.
I sometimes try telling him that I no longer feel how I once felt about him, but he's not having it. He told me that if I could love him once, I could love him again. Two months after that he proposed and I accepted, but I couldn't go through with it. Our marriage would just be a lie. We finally separated- well, actually I changed my number because that's the only way I thought he'd move on.
He called some of my relatives to get my number and address, but I knew he'd do that so I never gave them my number and address. Everyone was trying to get us back together, especially our relatives. Never mind them, they didn't understand. The LovePoetry poem The relationship you don't need by Xalthia Orion Star helped through the decision making.
I am in a relationship right now, taking it a day at a time. I’ve heard that he hasn't had any stable relationships since then. I figured that he was bitter and held a grudge, so I called him up and I explained to him in detail why we could never be. We’ve remained friends but it's still tense. We’ll survive. My life is better, practically stress free. I’m glad that I got things off my shoulders.
You should be able to make the distinction between love and lust. Communication in a relationship is the key. Don’t hold things from your partner; the only way you really hurt them is by keeping secrets from them.
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