by rhianna ishtar
I met J. through our mutual friend. We exchanged contact numbers and started communicating with each other. He often told me that he loved me and he felt that I was the one he wanted to settle down with. It didnít take him long to convince me. Within a month, we were staying together. That was when I noticed his funny behavior, like he would tell me that he was going to his brother's place and then a friend of mine who happens to be his brother's neighbor would call me and ask for J. I would tell her that he was at his brother's place and sheíd tell me that nobody was at home there. Also, there would be times when we promised to have dinner out, and Iíd be calling his number and it was switched off.
I was frozen when he told me about it the other woman. I donít know what to feel. I stayed in the relationship mainly because of 2 reasons; first, because he told me that he was with the other woman because of financial support as he was a Nigerian and was unable to find work in this country. Secondly I believed that he was doing what he did not because he liked doing it, but because he was ''forced'' to. I thought he would end it with the other woman if we had money. Furthermore, he swore that he loved me.
A number of his friends told me he was playing with me, but I deafened my ears to them all. I stayed for 8 good months before deciding to leave because the relationship was really getting nowhere and I found out that he had more than 2 girlfriends. One of his other girlfriends was even 4 months pregnant for him now. I later overheard the conversation he had with one of his friends, saying that he was just using me. Tíwas around that time that I read the LovePoetry poem Unloving you by Nadira Presley. I knew then, that if I still stayed in the relationship, I would just be wasting my time. Still, it took me very long before I really did leave him.
Iím happier with my life, being single again and all. Still, I do miss J. a lot. He calls me occasionally but I refuse to meet him up in person. That's because Iím afraid Iíll go back to him. Iím still very hurt by the incident I had with him. I find it hard to trust other guys now.
To all the gals out there: donít fall too fast and donít feel too much, it could hurt you.
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