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It Hurt
by lexi

I had been going out with this guy for 8 months when things start to go horribly wrong. He was my first love, the first guy I had given myself to and first guy to break my heart. I thought he was my everything. We did everything together, even got pimples in exactly the same places on our faces. We connected so well- it was uncanny. He loved me and I loved him. We used to do really cute things together, we shared each others musical tastes and everything. Then things started changing. He started making jokes about me to his friends and even told them when I was around. He started picking on the things I did and said. I started to cut myself and he kept telling me to stop. Then, I took to drinking so much that I'd end up passing out all the time. I tried overdosing, and even jumped out of my 2nd floor window... pretty stupid yeah. We broke up and he kept wanting me back, then breaking up with me and because I was so in love, I fell for it all the time. It was horrible.

During the happier times, I didn't feel as badly as during the sad times. I felt like a different person before I became depressed. I was happiest when we got back together because I felt like things were going to be okay, but he'd only fool me.

My parents kept telling me they thought I needed to see a counselor and even booked me into the school counselor because I wasn't eating properly and when I did eat I vomited it back up, although not purposely.

I was able to confide in my sister and my friend. They kept me busy doing fun things and they would be there for me when I needed someone to talk to. When I read Heart Broken by Carr!e H. Sy it really showed me the strength of another person and I admired that and wanted to be that strong so I worked toward it and wrote him a goodbye letter.

I'm no longer so depressed. I feel like I'm a new person and I guess I respect myself a little more. I joined an art class and took up Thai Chi, which has filled my time made me not so aware of him.

It's hard, but if you can battle through it, you're a better, stronger person afterwards. Hang in there because everything honestly will get better.

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