Why you, why now, why this?!?!
by sad girl13
He was a really great friend to me, and he was extremely friendly with everyone. Even though he dressed and acted like a little gangster, he was always polite to everyone and tried to keep away from problems. He was always there for me when I needed him, and he just knew the right things to say to every problem I had. He was easy going, loved to sing, and always cracked jokes when all we wanted was to cry! He was a really funny guy. He liked to see everyone laughing, and always kept his chin up, even when he was feeling like crap. Our friendship went to a higher level. We became boyfriend and girlfriend, but unfortunately, it didn't work out, so we kept it as friends. He would tell me that he felt the same way toward me, but he didn't want to hurt me. There were so many things I loved about him. No matter what was going on in his life, he always had time for me and my family, and of course, his family too. He always took time to listen to my parents, my grandma, and me. Unfortunately, he couldn't get out of drugs and those stupid 'gang' things. He always said that once you're claiming it, you can't stop! After all that, he was changing; he worked since he had dropped out of school, he took care of himself and his family. He was doing better, and was staying out of trouble. Thatís why we can't believe it happened at this time, when he was just changing!
I knew him for about 6 years, those six years were painful, but with him right by my side, it was easier for me to make it through. He was like a brother to me, always giving me good advice.
He got shot and stabbed. We still donít know why or by whom!
There were definitely things left unsaid: that I love him, care so much about him, and that I was thankful for all he did for me! I wanted to ask him what he wanted me to do after he died. One night, we were talking and he brought up the topic of death. I got freaked out, and decided to change the topic.
We didnít get to say good-bye. I had seen him 3 days before his death, and we didn't even get to talk like I wish we would have. He was looking for my brother, and since he wasn't there, he talked with another friend of ours, and all I said was, "Hey!"
My family has helped me, but most importantly my friends have been very supportive. They just try their best to get me going by taking me out and being there for me. They have tried everything! Another person who has helped me is my boyfriend Javier. Heís my ex now, but he just leant me his shoulder when I needed it, and he told me that crying was better than keeping it bottled up.
The LovePoetry poems that helped me through his death were Miss you by Heather Marie Yarbroough and No One Can Ever Take Your Place by Anthony Altas because I do miss him so much, and also because no one can ever take his place, no one!
Itís going to be nine months on December 20th, since he died. Iím doing okay, but I just canít believe he's gone. I still can't let him go. Itís just too hard! God took him so fast, and we didnít even say good-bye.
Don't wait until you can't tell someone you care and love so much that you'll always love them and care for them, no matter what. Don't think or assume that they know what you feel for them. Always tell your loved ones what you feel and what's on your mind. When they talk about death, let them talk, listen to them ,and do as they say, even though itís a hard and painful topic, because you never know what God's plans are for us! Trust me, itís a really hard feeling. You'll never forgive yourself for changing the subject!
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