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why now?
by yoyo

The situation I'm in right now is with my first love. I met him through a family member of mine. He was with another girl at the time, which I didn't know about.

When I did find out about his girlfriend, I didn't say much. I asked him if it was true and of course, he said it wasn't. I stayed because I wanted the relationship to work. I kept telling myself, "He'll leave her and come to me," but that didn't happen. She ended up getting pregnant by him, not once but twice. I was hurt but I still kept seeing him. I felt like he didn't want me anymore but he kept coming to see me. I kept seeing him because I loved him very much. I don't know if you would call that a relationship, but for five years I kept seeing him.

The turning point was when I realized that he would never change... not for me anyway. The LovePoetry poem I read was I Need You Now by Lisa M. Holmes and it did help me to see my situation more clearly. I stopped seeing him, I didn't call him or see him. I wanted to move on with my life without thinking about him. It was hard, but I did.

I met a wonderful guy who is everything I've always wanted in a man. We have a child together and we are planning to get married. I still talk to my first love. He says he made a mistake by treating me the way he did and that he's sorry for letting go. He wants to try and make it work between us. I do want to try, but I can't. I still love him, and no matter what, I can't get over him. Maybe it isn't fair to the man I'm with now. He is too good for me. He doesn't deserve this. I'm in love with two people.

Be careful what you wish for!


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