THERE I WAS
by LEFT TO CRY
I fell in love with someone who I thought felt the same way toward me. I was wrong... His love belonged to someone else. We tried to get together, but we were both with someone else. So, we gave up for a while and then finally we both found ourselves single. We gave it a try, but he would sort of push me away. I kept insisting we try to be together because he said he had feelings for me and I knew I had feelings for him.
After a while, I decided I wasn't going to try anymore and that if he really cared, he would do something to keep us going. It seemed like I did everything for him and he did nothing to make me feel good, except telling me that I'm really good-looking. That wasn't good enough- I wanted his love. He wouldn't let me through. He would leave me hanging after I had bought new clothes and had my hair done, just for him. He was acting a little weird and wouldn't even come to see me or return my calls, so I figured something was wrong. I sent him a message saying, "We need to talk!" So, he came over and told me he had been talking to his ex-girlfriend. I was torn apart.
This Just Isn't Fair by Laura Rose Smith is such a great poem. While I was reading through each line, I began to feel weak inside, as if the poet had read my mind.
Recently, I have tried calling him, but he won't pick up. I left him a message on his voice mail and still, there is no answer. I have no idea where I went wrong. I gave this relationship my all. I gave him my heart and my soul. I had so much patience with him, but it seems to me that he can't handle a woman with opinions. He seems to be more into girls who do whatever makes him feel good... and that's not me. I have myself to take care of and to please before anyone else. I have to decide what makes me happy!
I still think of him every time I hear a sad love sone. I still miss holding him at night, when I'm lying in my bed all alone, but I know I'm better off on my own, than with a guy who can't handle an independent woman.
Love is a combination of two- not one. If only one person is driven to make the relationshiop work, it really isn't love. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. Good luck to all the lovers!
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