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always dark
by teenager suicide

I became unhappy when my parents split up one year ago. That was when I realized I could not control my painÖ

I didn't appreciate when we were all together, when life was simpler and I was free. I don't know how it happened that I became depressed. For school essays I did my research about suicide and depression. Then I realized I was badly depressed. I cried for my life- hours and hours.

I am 12 years old and I started a book about how I felt. I have never expressed how I am feeling out loud, only in writing. I didnít have anyone to confide in. No one would understand me and I would never talk to my mother even though she is a psychiatrist.

I found a poem called She by Sarah Liz Rose. It didn't totally solve my problems but it cleared the way. It explains exactly how I am feeling.

I am still bad and I donít think that will ever change, but my school principal realized I was having a bad year and he wants to help me. I really like him.

Live your life, even though it is hard. I know it is easy to say but difficult to make.

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