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she saved me
by love of my child

It was June 1997 and I was 5, 1/2 months pregnant with my first child. I had been watching my grandmother who raised me all my life die of cancer. I went to my grandmother, who could no longer speak because of her weakened state and I told her I was having a little girl and asked her if I could name my baby after her. A single tear rolled down her face as she tried her best to smile. Two days later on June 11th, 1997, my little sister's birthday, my grandma died in a horribly painful way. She begged and cried for her mother as she lay there. I lost all control of myself at that point. At her funeral I was so gone with anguish and grief that I threw myself into her grave and on top of her casket. I then got into my car and went speeding down the highway until I got to the river. I sat in my car with my foot on the brake and the car in drive- looking at what I thought was my only release from the hurt and sorrow. Then, just as I was about to let go of the brake, my unborn child kicked inside of my tummy for the very first time- letting me know that I was not alone and that someone was there for me still who did love me. I turned off the car and cried for what seemed like hours. I had come so close to doing it that I didn't even think of my unborn baby- but she thought of me... of us... of forever love.

I confided in my friend Jana. I read a poem on LovePoetry that made me recall this point in my life when I had a true friend to tell what happened to me. I've sent a copy to her. The poem is A True Friend by Special One.

I have since been raising 2 wonderful girls and I have a great career and bright future... all because of the love of my unborn child and my best friend.


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