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Hinting
by truth_hurts

It all started last year in March. He was a friend of a friend, who had lost something and he had to find it. That was the first time I met him. Then, after that, I saw him at least three times a week when he came to look for my friend. But the first time he walked me home was when I told him I was afraid of the dark.He was a friend, but I thought it meant more. He treated me like a friend is meant to, but more. We would tell each other secrets that we would never tell anyone else. He was always there for me when I needed someone there. I thought he hinted to me that he liked me, but I guess I was wrong... I was sure that they were hints. I told him that I might leave Canada forever and he was the one who told me to stay. He also told me that if I had to leave, he would go back to Hong Kong to live there too. He cared about everything I did. He took the time to get to know everyone I knew. He would be there if I needed him, he would also be there to protect me. He would walk me home if it was dark. He told me he was worried about me once because, that time I had to leave an hour later. He had insisted to wait for me, but I told him to leave because it was already too dark. I would see him every day, in the mornings he would be standing near my locker, at lunch he would walk up the stairs and would sit with our group to chat with us, and after school he would stand by my locker to wait for me to walk home. If they weren't hints to tell me he liked me, what were they? Is that how you would treat your best friend?

I tried to tell myself that he was just a friend, but then it surprised me that I found myself falling in love with him. When I realized that, it was already too late, far too late. I couldn't help but think about him 24/... until one day I had to tell him how I felt. I told him on msn, "I think you like me." He stopped talking to me on msn, so I left. But the next day, he asked me I wanted to know the answer right then and I was like unwilling to know for I was afraid of what would happen, but I said "Ya." So he told me "I only thought of you as a friend. You are my best friend... someone I could talk to. I don't think we can be anything more." At that moment I felt so torn, but I said to him, "What a relief," (not wanting him to know how I felt about him).

I've read so many poems from LovePoetry.com. I would say that I've read almost all of the poems. But one poem made me think about what happened during the whole year I was in love with him. This poem is a good summary of what I felt... Love by Robert Browning.

I've thought about what happened, I've tried to forget, but it's so hard because I see him every day and he tells me everything. The hardest thing is that he is my best friend and not someone I could forget completely. I'm still adjusting to my life now. It was hard already to accept the harsh truth, but I think I could deal with it.

Time heals everything. Give it time and never rush into things.


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