all types of pain
by the most hurt
My daddy left me when I was around 4 or 5 years old. He left my mom for a woman of another race. I cried out to daddy, "Please stay, I love you!" My mother did too. From then on, I figured I meant nothing to him. After being gone for 3 years, he came back and started to hurt me even more. He lied to me daily and I believed his lies. He continued to see the lady he left my mother for and I started to adore this other woman and hate my mother, even though she was struggling, trying to make a way for my two sisters and me. To make the situation even worse, the father I tried to please disclaimed my baby sister. We had a blood test done and it proved she was his.
I wish I knew why he would leave me for that woman. I still don't have the answer to that question. All I know is that when I turned 12 I began to fight with my mom and blame her for the break up. At the age of thirteen, I was still trying to please my dad and hate my mom. Then, at fifteen I realized that if it hadn't been for my mother I would not be who I am today. I got the guts up to ask my father why he left me when I was crying for him. All he could do was look at me. For him, I suffered and wasted half of my life.
Now, at twenty eight, I have a relationship with my father, but he is constantly leaving, so when I read Daddy, Don't Go by Stacey P. Wilson, I realized that some things have to be forgiven, forgotten, and let go. I haven't seen my dad, but every time I do, there's always someone new in his life... a person whom he chooses over his four children.
We talk once a year, but my mom and I have a trusting and unbreakable friendship.
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