by Kitty Kat
I met the guy I'm in love with, (let's call him Jon) about 5 years ago. I've always had a major crush on him, which he always knew. The problem was he wasn't feeling me then, so we stayed mutual friends. Over the years, I realized he wasn't going to ever change his mind about being just friends, so I moved on about two years ago. So I started dating other guys trying to get my mind off of him... and I did for a good amount of time, but he came back and we fooled around for about six months. I was still dating this other kid, so me and the kid broke up and me and Jon continued messing around 'till he decided that it was time for us to stop what we were doing. I was disappointed, but I got over him.
About three months ago, I started dating somebody else, but I found out that Jon always had feelings for me but he never could really say it to me. My boyfriend and I broke up because I felt that if I continued going out with him I would've done the same thing I did to the first guy I dated. Basically, Jon is the "other man". I've stayed because I feel like, if I couldn't have him, why not stay with the guy who's willing to love me, even if I don't return the same kind of love?
When I realized that I was holding on to my ex-boyfriend just in case Jon doesn't want a relationship, I felt terrible. That is why I'm trying to break it off with my ex. I was searching through LovePoetry.com and I saw the poem Your Place to Stay by ITSme. I realized that Jon was and will always be there no matter how many guys I date in the future.
I'm planning to talk to my ex and tell him that if I were to continue dating him, I would just end up hurting him and I can't see myself doing that, not with the way he says he feels about me. Ever since the break-up my ex and I have been talking about getting back together, and Jon has been talking about a possible future for us.
My love life is a love triangle. Basically, I don't know what to do. I just know how I feel and I know that someone may get hurt. The only advice I can offer is, if you feel your heart's in the right place, then go for it.
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