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Man of Music
by browneyed texas angel

I had known my Uncle Bob my whole life. He was married to my motherís older sister. I was very close to him. He was my favorite uncle.

He died from cancer of the lymph nodes, chest cavity bone cancer, lung cancer and brain cancer. The one that basically killed him was a large tumor outside his brain. It was rare and it wasnít caught Ďtill it was too late. It is thought that the cancer was caused from the long term effects of Agent Orange, which was dropped when he was in Vietnam.

I never got to tell him how much I really loved him and glad I was that he made me appreciate music of all kinds. He taught me a lot about life and I was touched by his strength. There wasnít one person who didnít love him as soon as they met him. His strength impacted other peopleís lives.

When he was in the hospital, I visited him and I told him that I loved him and he mumbled it back to me. He couldnít talk because of the brain tumors, then he went into a coma. I was basically one of the last people he ever spoke to before he died. He knew I was there when I visited and I knew he could hear me because he would squeeze my hand.

My friends and family are there for me as much as they can be. I tend to bottle up my emotions until I just canít take it anymore and then I lose it. My friends prayed for me and with me they were there when I needed them most. My family was less supportive because they were going through the pain too. Plus, I wouldnít open up to them and tell them how I felt and how I still expect to see him alive and how bad it actually hurts. I did read I Sang A Song by Bill on LovePoetry.com and it helped some.

January 27th, 2005 will be 4 months since his death. Iím doing okay, but every day so many things remind me of him. I have days where I just break down and I canít help that every little thing will remind me of something. I just feel lost and I miss him so much!

No matter what the circumstances, you can get through it. You have to talk to other people about it your feelings so you donít bottle it up inside. Doing so only makes matters worse and can lead to major depression. Just know that everything will be okay and it can get better.


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