I am tired or lying to everyone
wearing a smile 
when it hurts so bad inside
I hate acting like everything is fine
When I hate to be alive
I am sorry to those I hurt 
But I can't take the pain any longer
I'm going to go now 
and forever 
All this pain has pushed me to the edge
To Chris, I love you a lot, but I can't bear this pain any more 
And I won't
I'm going to go downstairs 
And get the sharpest kitchen knife I can 
And put myself out of this misery 
Good bye