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untitled
by Josie B. Marcel

Though it doesn't show
  It still hurts inside
Still I think of all the times
  I sat alone and cried
My childhood was ruined
  and I can't go back in time

Momma, what were you thinking
  What was going through your mind
Daddy you've done so much wrong
  It kills me inside and brings me down
Still, I try to stand tall and strong
  But all I can do is frown

Did you think I'd never know
  Did you even care
How could you leave for days at a time
  Like I wasn't even there
I try to hold my head up
  but there's not a day I don't think of the past

I hide the feelings deep down inside me
  Did you think I'd forget that fast
It's been years and there are more years to come
  and still it'll hurt me as the days pass by
I'll never understand why you did it
  I'll never understand why you lied

Yeah...it's better now
  and everything is fine
But you will never understand
  What I had in my mind
I felt like you didn't want me
  Like I was nothing in this world

Mom and Dad, you were addicted to crack
  I was an eight year old girl
I lived with family and friends
  'cause all the money went for crack
Didn't know where you were going
  Didn't know when you would be back

Daddy, I watched you beat my mom
  She didn't leave 'cause she was addicted
Every time we'd find a place and settle down
  A month later we'd be evicted
I was eight; my sister was nine
  My little brother was two
How would it make you feel
  If your parents did that to you

You will never understand
  How you made us feel inside
So many times I stayed up late
  Couldn't sleep, could only cry
I know I wouldn't do that to my kids
  So you did teach me something good
But why you would want to do that to us
  Is something I never understood

I can never forgive you for that mistake
  Because it has changed my whole life
There was always nothing but drama
  So there was always strife
I still love you with all my heart
  Nothing can make that change
Nothing can make you not my parents
  Nothing can make the past rearrange

I'm gald I turned out the way I did
  and not like most kids would
I know what not to do
  and I know what I should
I love you, Mom
  and I love you, Dad
I love you for not giving me
  The things I never had
        
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Poem ID: 73595   Poem Posted: 1/26/2003
Viewed: 1201  Voted On: 21  E-mailed: 2  Commented On: 0
 
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Copyright , 2002, Josie B. Marcel  all rights reserved by the author.
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