What Do I Fear?*~*
by Heather Marie Doherty
*~*What do I fear*~*
When I close my eyes and begin to dream
I always awake every 10 minutes in a deep scream
My life isn?t fair, I always say
But whose is, I?m leaving it today.
I see nothing positive in my life
It is only filled with pain and strife
I fear I am loved too much to die
But I always end up broken down ready to cry
Nothing makes me happy anymore
I do this now I see the light and ?The Door?
After I get there I won?t feel pain
Nothing to lose but nothing to gain.
I will have no more feelings and no more thoughts
No more worries to heaven I?ll be brought.
Inside I was a screaming child
But I held it in, on the outside I was calm mostly mild
No one knows the pain I went through
The pain and hurt didn?t go it grew
I needed a miracle just one
It was too late something had to be done
You will be happy for me
Just wait and you?ll see
At first you will feel how I felt but probably worse
When I brought right by you in a Hearse.
As young as I was, I was too troubled to live
I didn?t want a shrink for attention that?s what you often
thought you had to give
It was worse beyond their help and beyond mine
Couple of months you will turn out fine.
Not as happy as you once were with me
But you have a life and this was how it was meant to be.
I am with god now
The angel sent me I am not scared anymore I don?t know how
It is as if my hurt and pain drifted away as I flew up here.
I don?t want you to cry for me not one tear
I don?t want you in my position or how I was in deep
This is a secret you have to promise to keep
I am sorry you didn?t get to see my wedding day
I am sorry you miss me when I play.
I am even more sorry that you couldn?t see me grow up
I was trapped in my mortal life like I was placed in a cup.
I want you to know I will love you forever
I will see you in a while, we will be together
Tell every one I love them tell them I?m sorry
Tell them I was sick and had to go don?t let them get worried
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS!