FEAR OF LOVING
by S. Hall Zilla
I'm afraid to love again,
I ask you to understand,
The only one I ever loved
Left my heart a barren land.
I'm afraid fulfillment would elude me,
In a lifetime... does it ever come twice?
Anything less would surely undo me,
I choose not to pay that price.
I'm afraid to again feel the pain,
That consumed me in the end.
I couldn't bear it this time,
As my unsuspecting heart did then.
I'm afraid to give my all---
?Tho you promise the same in return,
Love may again flee,
Like the "genie" from a magical urn.
And to give less than my all,
would be unfair to you.
You deserve so much more,
A love dedicated and true.
I want to love again,
In the way I'm capable of,
I will not settle for less,
I yearn for abiding love.
At this moment I have nothing to hope for,
Nothing else to give...
I've been robbed of one of life's treasures,
It's main reason to live.
I am so vulnerable at this time,
I fear what my actions will be,
I will not make a decision
Until my heart is free.
I love you as a friend,
And I want to do what's right,
Let me heal a while longer....
I'll hasten, with all my might.
I need to be worthy of what you offer,
So there's no loss... only gain.
I never want to cause anyone,
This kind of endless pain.
Please... be patient with me.