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FEAR OF LOVING
by S. Hall Zilla

I'm afraid to love again,
I ask you to understand,
The only one I ever loved
Left my heart a barren land.

I'm afraid fulfillment would elude me,
In a lifetime... does it ever come twice?
Anything less would surely undo me,
I choose not to pay that price.

I'm afraid to again feel the pain,
That consumed me in the end.
I couldn't bear it this time,
As my unsuspecting heart did then.

I'm afraid to give my all---
?Tho you promise the same in return,
Love may again flee,
Like the "genie" from a magical urn.

And to give less than my all,
would be unfair to you.
You deserve so much more,
A love dedicated and true.

I want to love again,
In the way I'm capable of,
I will not settle for less,
I yearn for abiding love.

At this moment I have nothing to hope for,
Nothing else to give...
I've been robbed of one of life's treasures,
It's main reason to live. 

I am so vulnerable at this time,
I fear what my actions will be,
I will not make a decision
Until my heart is free.

I love you as a friend,
And I want to do what's right,
Let me heal a while longer....
I'll hasten, with all my might.

I need to be worthy of what you offer,   
So there's no loss... only gain.
I never want to cause anyone,
This kind of endless pain.

Please... be patient with me.
        
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Poem ID: 2833   Poem Posted: 4/1/1998
Viewed: 43286  Voted On: 986  E-mailed: 705  Commented On: 24
 
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Copyright , March 24, 1998,  all rights reserved by the author.
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